just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
