I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
