Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
