I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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