he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
