Someone shit on the floor
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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