mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
