u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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