East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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