i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
