Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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