...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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