Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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