so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
