Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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