Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
