i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
