She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize