Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
