oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
