I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
it's like iHOP with fire
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
