fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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