Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Two words: nipple clamps
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