i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My balls are so social today.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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