Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
