I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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