the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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