But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
as a side note pls kill me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
