My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
