I understand Curling. That high.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
