My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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