what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
