I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
