what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
