Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
