Are we in a gay sports bar?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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