Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
