I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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