those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
