Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you win again, gameday.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
