Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
We smell like vodka and hangover
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