when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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