Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
