you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
