My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
