Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
