Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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