We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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