I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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