question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
