And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
