your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
