don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
