May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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