My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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