My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
