I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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