Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
