I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Randomize
