He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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