it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
