it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
