I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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